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Good
morning. November
19, 2000 was an incredible day for me. That is the day that I
knew, beyond the shadow of any doubt that God loves me and that He was
with me. But before I get into that, perhaps a little background
is necessary. I’ve
known about God my whole life. I grew up in church. I
learned all about Jesus Christ in Sunday school. We were taught to love
one another, to respect our elders, to be responsible for our own
actions and those of the people we were with, to be tolerant of people's
differences, among many other lessons. The church played an
important part in helping to teach us these lessons. When I was
15, my family was taught another lesson by our church --- that of
hypocrisy against the teachings of Christ. You see, all five of us
kids were swimmers, dad was our coach, and mom was our number one
booster. We were gone to swim meets probably 3 out of 4 weekends a
month, yet we still worshipped at non-denominational services on the
weekends we were not at home. However, this
particular pastor made a point, in his sermons when we were at church,
to point out the damnation of those who put sports and other stuff
before God. As far as I know he never checked to see if we were
worshipping as a family when we weren’t there. So we left the
church and I didn’t return to it for the next 25 years. As I
look back I can see that I made a very common error in that I judged the
Lord Jesus Christ and His "worthiness" in my life based on the
actions of mortal struggling people. Anyway, I can look back and see God all over my life, but as I was experiencing life I just thought it was me. I mean, I have a beautiful wife, four beautiful and very special children, a great job that is meaningful and I have had a little success. However, God got NONE of the credit --- I thought it was all me. Well all of that changed on June 16 of 2000. On that day a child who was in our day camp at the YMCA drowned. This was a very difficult time for many. In typical Dave fashion, I tried to handle all of it on my own wits. The pressure of trying to provide direction, answers, solutions, help, counsel, and comfort to so many took its toll! It wasn’t long before I was spiraling downward into a deep, dark pit. I soon became useless to all. At that dark time I considered leaving my wife because I loved her too much to put her through the pain of my existence, I fantasized about suicide, the whole gamut. I was finally driven to my knees in early August and I prayed fervently for God to help me --- the realization that I wasn’t nearly skilled enough to “handle it all” hit me full force. I couldn’t continue on the path I was on. Well,
God heard me and His response was immediate and powerful! The next
morning I awoke and felt the weight of the world lifted from my
shoulders. Don’t get me wrong, life wasn’t all of a sudden a
“bed of roses” for me, but the realization that God was there was
awesome to me. I realized that God had something in mind and the
responsibility wasn’t all on me to figure it out! I read
somewhere that God doesn’t waste any pain that we experience. He
will always use our pain for some good. That brought a great deal
of relief to me. So
what did I do with this newfound sense of God answering my prayer?
Well, of course, I continued to stay in bed on Sunday mornings while my
wife and kids went to church. Am I stubborn or what?! It so happens that in early September of last year (2000) my wife and kids came here to Oakbrook Community Church with a family friend. During the service my wife rushed out of the auditorium to call me and tell me I had to come see this! She didn’t get me of course, I was probably still in bed. She did call three times though and when they came home all excited, I agreed to come the next week. Well,
I did come, and I, like many others before and after, felt Mark had been
following me around because he spoke directly to me! You all might
as well have been somewhere else, because he was talking to ME!
Something else funny happened --- I felt uplifted and great when I left.
The long and the short of it is that I have only missed three weekends
since, all because I was out of town. I
remember early on in my attendance here I had lunch with Karl Stoneking
to talk about what Christianity was all about. He explained to me
about the separation of man and God due to our sinful natures and
explained that there was a way to bridge this gap. After he showed
me this using an illustration, I remember looking at him and asking,
“That’s all there is to it? Just believe? Karl, that
seems way too easy.” What I really felt was that if it was that
easy, everyone would be a Christian. Karl went on to explain about
God’s gift to us of His grace. I left that meeting thinking
about what he said and determined to find out more. I
continued to pray daily, read the bible, and talk to people from this
and other churches. In early October I said the salvation prayer here in
church which Karl had said was the first step. Basically what that
means is that I admitted to God that I was a sinner, I accepted Jesus
Christ as my personal savior, and I asked God to take control of my life
and lead me. Still, that seemed too easy! Even though God
was showing Himself around me every day; by the changes that were
occurring in my heart and in my thinking and in the way I was seeing the
world around me, I just wasn’t sure if this was all of God or if I was
just changing because I desperately wanted to. All of a sudden my
prayers took on a new tone. I prayed to God to show me this was of
Him and not of me. I know that I’m not supposed to ask Him for a
sign, but as you can tell, I’m not the smartest puppy in the litter.
Then at the November Gathering service as we were praising God with
“We Fall Down” I felt the hand of God reach in and gently massage my
heart. I actually felt as if I was in God’s Holy presence, and I broke
down crying in the middle of that song, drawing strange looks from those
around me I’m sure. But God had answered even a stubborn fool
like me! Since
that day I have had absolutely no doubt about the very real existence of
God and my walk with Christ is blessed every day as I see the workings
of God all around me. I know God has big plans for each of us and
I now pray that He will lead me to fulfill His divine plan for my life.
The impact of this change in me has been felt in my family; I sort of
shocked them all at Christmas time when I said that we were going to
start studying the bible daily in our house, together, and my wife and I
now regularly pray, out loud, together. At work we have begun a
bible study for employees which has been going great, and we started a
Leadership Development program based on Christian leadership principals.
And in the commitments I have in the community I am not real shy about
sharing my new faith! I praise God for the incredible changes He
has had on my life. I also remind Him daily, as He reminds me
daily, that there is lots of work left to do in me. The way I see
it, God MUST be good if He can, and does, love even me! Finally,
I even had my life pointed out to me in scripture. It comes from
Psalms 40:1-3. It goes like this: I
waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. Amen! Peace and grace to you! |
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